okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Randomize
