it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
