a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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