your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
