I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
