Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
