I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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