More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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