a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
