me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
