they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Randomize
