P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
