And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
