just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
