we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
