he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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