I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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