Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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