dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
