i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
