She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
