Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Congratulations! We have a period
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