saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
