I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
