Porn is love you can see.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
