fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I came so hard my ears popped.
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