You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
