GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
