Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Never underestimate the power of titties
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
