Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
