Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
