oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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