Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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