what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Terrible idea I love it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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