A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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