your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
