We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
