Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
