This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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