Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
