I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
