he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
