Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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