Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
