i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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