He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
