my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
