i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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