I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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