there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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